Breaking in the new: Health Club

Employees of the new company get a break on a couple of different counts if they join a health club and attend a certain number of days a month, so with Kim losing weight by the day and me having had virtually no exercise for the three years it took to complete the masters, a trial for at least a couple of months was a no-brainer.

The one we targeted here isn't that much different from others we've attended. Same machines, same offerings, same overly-friendly staff, same annoying tour and interview process:

• "So what are your goals?"
• "So, how can we help you get the most out of your workout?"
• "So, what do you usually look for in a locker room?" (OK, it's the first time I've ever heard that one, but so help me, he actually asked me that.)

This one is different from clubs I've belonged to at home in at least two respects: first, it's sheer size. The place is huge, with parking up the kazoo, a mini-water park, and, Kim tells me, a great room the the girls to hang out in. (The chain is a big fitness name out here, and the guy who gave me the tour said that they can't expand into Massachusetts because the land costs are way too high for the type of facility they usually have.)

Second -- and I guess I always thought this sort of thing usually just goes without saying in a public place -- is the sign that greets you as you enter: "Lifetime Fitness does not permit the use of guns on the premises."